"Chips!" came the order, followed by a sharp jab to his shoulder.

Swinging his head around, Angel found Cordelia staring at him impatiently.  "What?"

"I need chips.  Off of the top rack in the pantry.  I can't reach them."

"And this is my problem, why?" he grouched, not wanting to uncurl himself from Buffy with whom he was snuggled in one of Cordy's huge armchairs well away from the center of the party.

"Because you owe me, Bud.  You sleep over here all the time and I haven't started charging you rent yet."

Angel let out a bark of laughter that brought a smile to Cordelia's face.  He did owe the former cheerleader, although not for rent, it wasn't like he'd moved in.  She had been his staunchest supporter from the first moment he joined the White Hats.  She'd helped him when all the others had been terrified of him, including the little warm bundle now sitting in his arms.  The least he could do was play human stepladder for her.  "Okay, Cordy, just give me a second," he said, gently urging Buffy off of his lap.

The Slayer whined.  She didn't want him to leave, no matter if he was just going into the next room.  She hated large gatherings, parties in particular and Cordy's had just started getting going.  With Oz and Larry apparently planning to arrive fashionably late, Angel getting chips, and Queen C playing hostess she was left on her own.

"Buffy, right?"

The Slayer looked up at a young man about her age.  He'd been at the coffee shop last week when Cordelia had forced her out, but for the life of her, she couldn't remember his name.  She smiled meekly at him, hoping he'd go away.

"I'm Scott.  We met at the Espresso Pump last week."

"Oh yeah," Buffy said.  "I knew you looked familiar but I couldn't remember your name."

"Not a problem," Scott said.  "You probably meet new people all the time.  Has to be hard keeping track of everyone."

"You have no idea," Buffy said wryly.

"So you and Cordy are roommates, right?"

"Yep."

"Must be nice," he said, motioning to their opulent surroundings.  "I couldn't imagine being able to afford living here."

"Me either," Buffy said laughing as Scott crooked and eyebrow at her. "Cordy lets me stay here free of charge," she explained.

"Sounds good.  If you guys ever need a third roommate, let me know."

"I'll keep ya posted," Buffy said playfully.  "But we're not planning on any vacancies."

When Angel returned Buffy and Scott were still talking.  Much to her shock, Angel wasn't irritated to find her talking to another guy.  He seemed to be genuinely happy that she'd made another friend.  Apparently Scott wasn't a serious threat in his book.  He shook Scott's hand, introducing himself as Buffy's boyfriend and the three of them talked for a while.

The conversation came to an end when Oz and the rest of the Dingoes showed up.  Assisted by Buffy and Angel they hauled all of their equipment into Cordy's oversized living room and set up.  Buffy was curious.  Oz always seemed to be heading off to band practice of a gig somewhere but she had yet to see them play.  The lead singer, Devon, wasn't at all what Buffy had expected.  After Cordy's admission that she used to date him, she was expecting someone out of a Tommy Hilfiger ad. Devon seemed more like Mountain Dew or Doritos, but he was likable nonetheless.

Just before their set began, Oz wandered over to Buffy.  "You seen Larry?" he asked her quietly.

"No," Buffy replied, suddenly concerned.

"He was supposed to meet me at the apartment to help us load, but he never showed up."

"That's not like Larry at all," Buffy said.  "Do you think something happened to him?"

"Don't know.  I don't want to overreact.  It just seems odd."

"Maybe he'll show in a little bit," she said hopefully.  "If he doesn't I'll do a sweep to look for him."

Oz nodded, then turned to go to the makeshift stage.

Angel knew there'd been a conversation, but he'd been unable to hear anything over the din of the crowd.  "Something wrong?" he asked.

"Larry's missing."

"Do we know for sure?" he asked, trying to calm her, he could tell she was getting upset.

"He was supposed to meet Oz and he never showed up."

"Let's not get excited.  We don't know for sure that anything is wrong."

As Dingoes took the stage, Buffy tried to concentrate, but found herself unable to.  This is what Evelyn Crossgate tried to warn her about. Human connections made her weak.  Three months ago she would have been able to look at this situation objectively.  Now, she was worried sick that something had happened to one of her friends.  She hated it.  A gentle squeeze from Angel jolted her from her thoughts.  She looked up at him and he nodded to the door.  Turning her head, she watched as Larry walked in the door, seemingly fine.  Buffy breathed a huge sigh of relief, heading towards Larry, Angel following close behind.

"Are you okay?" she asked the former jock.

Larry gave her a confused look.  "I'm fine.  Why?  Did something happen?"

Behind her, Buffy felt Angel tense, but she didn't have time to pay attention to him.  "You were supposed to meet Oz," she said.

Larry smacked his forehead.  "Shit.  I forgot.  My grandmother asked me to take her to the store and we got sidetracked.  I'm totally sorry if I had you guys worried."

Buffy smiled.  "Don't worry about it, it's just that in this town you never know."

"Well, I'm sorry anyway," he said, moving forward to give Buffy a hug.  The Slayer accepted it, hugging him back easily.

She felt, rather than heard Angel growl behind her.  As Larry moved into the living room to watch the band, she turned on Angel glaring at him.  "What's the deal?  Over possessive much?"

Angel didn't answer, grabbing her upper arm and pulling her out of the living room and up the stairs towards her bedroom.  Buffy hurried to keep up with him, trying not to stumble as she attempted to discern what had happened.  When they reached her room, he quickly shoved her inside, closing and locking the door behind them.

Before she could say anything, Angel was running his hands all over her body as if searching for something.  Apparently not finding anything he let out a frustrated growl, pulling her against his chest.  He bent his head, smelling her deeply and then proceeded to sniff most of her body.  Buffy was stunned into stillness.  Angel had overreacted about Riley, but this was just nuts.  Grabbing him by the ears, she pulled his face even with hers.  "What. Are. You. Doing?" she bit out slowly.

Angel shook off her hold, growling in frustration again as he sat down at her desk, staring at the floor.  How was he going to tell her this? It would hurt her deeply, especially now when she was finally starting to come out of her shell and trust people.  He raised his gaze to her.  "That wasn't Larry."

Buffy's brow furrowed, but a cold pit of fear pooled in her stomach.  "That was Larry," she said, her voice quiet but firm.

Angel shook his head.  "Trust me, Buffy.  That wasn't him.  The Larry you know is gone."

Buffy was speechless, still confused and beginning to get very upset. "That was him, Angel," she said, her voice thick with fear.  "He wasn't a vampire.  I would have felt it."

His gaze gentled as he looked at the barely restrained fright etched on her features.  Buffy was so strong, but she didn't have any experience with this kind of pain.  "He's not a vampire," Angel explained slowly.  "It's worse than that."

"What is he?" she said, her voice a near whisper.

"A human minion."

"A what?"

Taking a deep breath, Angel said, "Larry has been claimed by a vampire, bitten, blood exchanged.  He isn't a vampire, but he is bound to his Mistress.  He will do her bidding without question.  He cannot be trusted."

"Mistress?  You know who did this to him?  Tell me," she pled, her voice taking on an tinge of hysteria.

Angel stared at his shoes again.  This wasn't going to be easy.  For all her hard edges, Buffy was still so innocent.  Before meeting him, she viewed vampires as something to be exterminated.  For her it was a neat clinical process. She probably never gave a moment's thought to the intricacies of vampiric society.  Most Slayers didn't.  Angel shook his head.  He hated this - hated that he was one of these creatures.  He hated that he knew about Larry's condition because he inflicted the same fate upon hundreds of humans himself.  He made willing, mindless slaves out of undeserving creatures.  He viewed them as toys, as surely as Larry's Mistress viewed him as one.  Raising his sad eyes, Angel answered simply, "Willow."

Thoughts raced through Buffy's mind.  "Willow?  The red headed vampire from the Master's party?"

Nodding, Angel confirmed, "Yes."

Buffy blinked, trying to absorb the situation.  Her friend was lost, nothing more than a pawn for a vicious vampire.  Her gaze flitted back to Angel.  He wouldn't meet her eyes, his head hung in shame.  A thought occured to her and she asked, "How do you know all this?"

He shrugged, looking at the wall.  "I can feel that Larry is a minion.  I can't explain it's just one of the perks of being undead," he said sardonically.  He took a deep breath and then said more quietly, "As for knowing it's Willow, her scent is all over him."

"Scent," Buffy parroted softly.  "How do you know her scent?"

Slowly, Angel's eyes met hers.  "She held me captive, Buffy, tortured me for three years," he said bitterly.  "I would know her scent anywhere."

Buffy stood stock still, reeling from the information.  Larry was gone, but not gone.  Her friend was now a mindless human slave to one of the creatures she had been born to destroy.  And Angel ... Buffy had blissfully maintained her ignorance about the time he spent as the Master's Puppy.  She knew the bare facts, that he had been held captive and tortured, but she had not allowed herself to dwell on that fact.  She saw him the night they brought him back from the mansion.  She saw the scars - his pathetic physical condition.  She remembered the desperation in his voice when she found him at the Bronze, the raw need to reek vengeance upon his captors.  But she had pushed all of that knowledge away.  When she returned from England, Angel looked so different that it was easy to forget there had ever been anything wrong with him.

Buffy tore her thoughts back to Larry.  She couldn't deal with Angel, not right now.  Evelyn Crossgate taught her to prioritize, to focus.  As cold as it sounded, Angel's pain could wait.  Right now they had to deal with Larry.  Surely they could reverse it somehow.  "Can the bond be broken?" she asked, hoping for once fate would cut her some slack.

Angel's expression was answer enough, but he still replied, "No."

Buffy's face fell.  "But there has to be," she said desperately.  "What if we kill Willow?"

Angel shook his head sadly.  "He'll go insane, Buffy.  Minion bonds aren't made to be undone. They're permanent.  Without his Mistress, Larry would be lost."

"No," Buffy sobbed, sinking to her knees on the floor.

Angel slid to the floor beside her, enfolding her in his embrace.  She was so fragile.  She needed to be held, soothed, reassured, unfortunately there wasn't any time.  "Buffy we have to find Larry.  In this state, he can do irreparable harm to the other White Hats."

Buffy nodded against his chest as her crying stopped.  Tamping down her emotions she rose to her feet.  Time to go to work.

*****

Buffy and Angel, along with Oz managed to subdue Larry without interrupting Cordelia's party.  The cage that Oz used on the nights he shifted into werewolf form was more than sufficient to hold Larry until the remaining White Hats figured out what to do with him.  Giles located a masking spell that would conceal Larry's whereabouts from Willow, giving them more time to search for a way out of the bond.

Both the Giles and Angel were pessimistic about Larry's prognosis. Neither of them had heard of any instance of a minion bond being reversed, but they'd vowed to try and find one if only for Buffy's benefit.  For her part, Buffy was doing better.  The fact that she hadn't had to put her friend down served to lift her spirits.  She didn't know what she would have done if he'd been an outright vampire.  Even now, she knew that if it came down to Larry's death, that either Giles or Angel would take care of matters.

*****

Angel idly stroked Buffy's shoulder as she pillowed her head on his chest.  She yawned sleepily.  "All I thought I was going to have to worry about tonight was you going after Riley," she said sardonically.

"Something like this puts things in perspective, doesn't it," Angel said gently, hugging her.

Buffy sniffled.  "Sure does."

"Giles and I will start looking for some sort of reversal spell tonight, Buffy," Angel said, gently running his fingers through the long golden tresses spilling over his chest.

Lifting her head, she looked him in the eyes.  "Thank you."

"Larry would do the same for us," he said.

Buffy nodded, but then her expression changed.  "Angel ..." she asked tentatively.

"Yes?"

Frowning, she searched for the words.  "What was it like?"

"What?" Angel asked coyly, hoping she wasn't going where he thought she was going.

"Willow, the Master, what they did to you," Buffy elaborated.

Angel was silent for a long time, simply holding Buffy close, breathing in her scent.  "I deserved it," he finally said.

"What?" she asked, brow furrowed.

"All of the horrible things they did to me.  All of the pain and torture.  I deserved it all."

"Angel, how can you say that?" Buffy gasped.

Angel swallowed hard.  They had never discussed Angelus.  He knew that Buffy knew about his past.  He knew that Giles had briefed her before allowing his Slayer contact with a vampire.  But knowing something happened and hearing it from the source were two very different things.  "The Master and Willow didn't do anything to me that I hadn't done to dozens, probably hundreds of humans myself.  All for fun.  The difference is that I lived through it, lived for them to torture me another day.  The humans I tortured didn't.  They all died at my hands."

"But that wasn't you," Buffy said.  "Giles told me.  That was the demon.  You didn't have anything to do with it."

"Didn't I?" Angel asked, his voice thick with self-loathing.  "I remember all of it.  I'm being punished for all of the things the demon did.  How are they not my sins?  They were committed by my hand."

"Angel," Buffy pled, gently running her hand over his cheek.

"No," he said, pulling out of her embrace, sitting up against the headboard.  "Willow and the Master tortured me.  They beat me with whips and chains, burned me with fire and holy water.  They starved me, raped me, kept me caged like a rabid animal for years - and even that cannot make up for what I've done in my past.  It can't absolve the blood from my hands."

Buffy flinched at his candor.  She read accounts of Angelus' rampages through half the known world, but hadn't really thought about the fact that Angel held all of his demon's memories.  She was at a loss for what to do when ragged sobs tore from her lover's chest.  All of the time they spent together he was always the one taking care of her.  She never thought about the fact that maybe he needed to be taken care of too.  He always seemed so strong.

Buffy rose to kneel next to him and this time he didn't fight her as she pulled him into her embrace.  She held him, speaking nonsense words of love to him as he quieted.  "When he calmed, she said in a hushed whisper, "It wasn't your fault."

Angel pulled her closer, shamed by the joy he felt at hearing her say those words, especially after what he'd just told her.  She deserved so much better than him, but he'd be damned if he would ever let her go.  Cupping her face, he kissed her gently, deeply.  "I love you, Buffy Summers," he said quietly.

"I love you too, my guardian Angel," she said smiling sadly.

[end chapter]

Feedback to indie

On to Next Chapter

Back to Previous Chapter

Back to Wishverse Index